Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
