Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
