I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
