so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
