Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
