i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
