Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
