I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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