I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
