I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
