Dual....:-)
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
