I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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