what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
