Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
