is your mom at the bar?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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