I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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