You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
