yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize