Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
