Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
