Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
