My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
