The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
