i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
