That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
