Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm going to jail i love you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
