When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
