There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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