coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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