me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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