Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
