I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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