bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
