Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize