You made me cry and you don't even care
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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