dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize