nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
