it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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