Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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