is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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