the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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