Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
