do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
