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I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
