Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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