Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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