Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
