some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
