There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize