I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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