I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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