pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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