On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize