after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
