i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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