So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
