she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
