smell my finger.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
