I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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