Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
did i walk over a car last night?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
