Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We left the knife in your bed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
