My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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