Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
