I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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