So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
