I just made out with a guy for $7.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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