we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
