It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
