Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
