he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize